did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The Olympian is in my bed
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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