found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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