I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dear god my vagina.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
