Your tits are I can't wait for
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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