It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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