Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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