So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
