Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
