Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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