Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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