some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
someone get that fucking seahorse.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize