she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
