I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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