He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
