a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I supernannyed him into submission
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
