So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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