..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
