In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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