so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
