you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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