i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
