Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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