So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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