But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
