I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
