My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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