I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
