i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
