I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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