Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize