oh god the rape fog is back!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
