maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
