but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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