Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
