I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
