you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
