I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
