I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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