he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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