Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
