I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
