I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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