Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
