He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
