Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
