walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
