I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize