I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I will be naked everywhere
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
