Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
