k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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