like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
