Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
