was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
