You're completely useless in the revolution.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
