it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
