I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
