I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
